So I Ran into Clark the Cub This Week

Life is weird. I feel I am constantly reminded of that whether it is through internet stories or situations that I have encountered. Luckily I had one of those situations Wednesday.

When driving to work one afternoon, I stopped in to the local Jewel Osco to pick up a Lean Cuisine to make myself feel like I was eating healthy. Seeing as I was crunched for time, my mentality was to get in and out with a  Lean Cuisine Panini and a pack of starburst. I always get starburst, but that is a story for another day.

After grabbing my lunch, I was heading straight towards the self checkout lane. I looked over to my left and noticed plenty of Halloween candy in stock. Being the financial man I am, I considered buying starburst in bulk to maybe save some money. However, I realized how sad it would be buying a Halloween Size bag of starburst, which is equal to the size of a nine month baby, and knowing they weren’t going towards kids on halloween, but instead just me on a Wednesday afternoon.

Luckily I had this thought process while still in stride to the register. All I had to do was turn my head back around and get out of there. Nothing was in my way.

Correction, there was something in my way; A big fury animal, wearing a backwards baseball cap and no pants.

Yes I am talking about beloved Chicago Cubs’ mascot, Clark the Cub.

A little back story, I wasn’t  a fan of Clark the Cub the first time I heard of him. After I checked his twitter and incredible stats, though, I changed my mind. Plus, as someone who does not enjoy the restriction of pants I respected this Cub’s style.

Back to the Jewel. Clark the Cub, my main man, was coming at me, riding a scooter designated for people who have trouble walking/ are over-weight individuals. The only thing he had in his basket was a pile of Chicago Cubs bucket hats.

After “making eye contact,” I had to say something.

 “Hey!” That was literally my response. 

Clark, probably realizing he shouldn’t stop his scooter to speak to a lunatic, kept on rolling but did toss me a hat.

My reaction : laughing. I was laughing uncontrollably out of excitement. There was a woman following Clark and she seemed to be smiling at me. There is no doubt in my mind they thought there was something wrong with me. 

I tried to snap back into reality and walk towards the self check out aisle, but , wouldn’t you know it, I was in the one Jewel that didn’t have one. So, now I am walking back and forth between aisles, smiling and giggling, while holding a Lean Cuisine and a Cubs bucket hat.

I was star struck by a mascot of my favorite team. It made me realize I would have no idea how to handle myself in front of someone actually famous. Based of this experience, I would probably just start crying and curl up next to the person's feet. 

 To be fair, my reactions to everyday occurrences could be described as different. Whether it is whispering “shut the fuck up” when I saw a  bunch of dogs on the quad at Illinois my junior year or running away and gagging when I saw a larger spider two weeks ago, I can’t handle life.

After I checked out, I got out of that Jewel as quick as I could. To be honest, I didn’t know if any of what I described actually happened. Luckily I will always have a blue bucket hat with the “Wrigley Field 100^TH Anniversary” patch and a giant cubs logo on top to remind myself “life is fucking weird.”

Don't Hate This Fair-weather

Let me start by saying this. If your team isn't in these playoffs you should 100% be rooting for Royals in the World Series. Either the Cardinals or the Giants have represented the National League in the World Series for the past five years. Each team has won it all twice since 2006. Their fan bases don't need another title, they have had their fun. Just today a huge Cards fan I know said he'd rather win his fantasy football league than see the Cards win it again (idiotic) "Hell man, I've already witnessed it twice!". These Royals fans have suffered and suffered, they deserve this, root for them.

That being said, to all of you Royals fans that have gone through so much losing, do not hate the fans that have just jumped on the bandwagon and will inevitably continue to do so. I get it, sure, you hate them because you have watched bad baseball for the past 29 years, these morons now rooting for your team don't get it, they aren't REAL fans. 

That's all well and good, maybe they aren't "real fans" but these bandwagoners are going to help your favorite team immensely in the coming years. Let's take, for example, the Chicago Blackhawks. A few of my friends have lived and died with The Hawks since they were young, back in the days when they really, really sucked and weren't even on TV. Now they are all a little pissy and bitter because people (like me) root for The Hawks in the playoffs and celebrate their success. 

To those friends of mine, SHUT UP! Some of those so-called "fair weather fans" from that 2010 championship are now die-hards, they won't miss a game. Sure, there will always be guys like me that just hop on for the playoffs, but a lot of these people become real-fans, go to games, and spread the love for your favorite team. They will continue to stick around, even when the championships stop coming. 

Since the wins haven't stopped coming for The Hawks since that 2010 season, I decided to look at another local team for some proof, the Bulls. In the 1983-1984 season, the year before a kid named Michael Jordan burst on to the seen, the Bulls were really bad (27-55) and averaged a grand total of 6,365 people per game, that's horrendous. Those numbers of course skyrocketed with the likes of Jordan, Pippen and 6 championships. Inevitably tons and tons of "fairweather fans" hopped on the Bulls bandwagon during those years. People that hardly watched basketball before this run were going out and celebrating championships for the city.

The championship streak came to an end and suddenly the Bulls were bad again. In the 2002-2003 season the Bulls were an abysmal 30-52, similar to that 83-84 team. Their attendance? They averaged 19,617 per game, over three times as many fans as the 83-84 season. Of course things were different and things like the economy, TV deals, and marketing can come into play, but I believe a HUGE reason for continued fan support admits a poor season is thanks to that Jordan era. 

So, to all those slightly-bitter Royals fans, embrace these people that are jumping on your bandwagon now. They may fall in love with the sport and team that you already love so dearly. This exciting stretch for your city will lead to increased attendance over the years and an entire new base of Royals fans. Most importantly, all of this new support and attention leads to more money. Money, my friends, is never a bad thing for your organization to have. 

Finally, you true-blue Royals fans can find some comfort knowing that, no matter how hard they cheer now, these bandwagoners will never feel the same emotions you do when the Royals win it all. Your countless years of endearing bad baseball will make that moment so much more special. Remember this and embrace these new fans that will lead to helping your organization in the long run.

And to all my readers with no team to root for, hop on the Royals train quick, it's almost at its destination.