Week 14 Pick'em

This may not come as a surprise to any of you, but I am absolutely getting cleaned out by college football. I work my ass off every week to teach these damn kids how to gym, and then I throw my money away on bad gambling. Well not this week! No sir. Vegas is just giving away money this Sunday with these easy ass picks. Christmas has come early. 

Pittsburgh at CINCINNATI -3

I think the Steelers might be bad. That stretch where Big Ben was throwing 6 TDs a game seems like ages ago. The Bengals are winning a lot now. Home team. Need more analysis? Fuck you. This isn't ESPN.

INDIANAPOLIS -3 at Cleveland

FREEEEEEEEE MONEY!!!!! Lock of the week. Lock of the year. Browns are trending downwards so fucking fast and they decided to stick with Hoyer. You bench a guy, Football Jesus comes in and shows he's electric, then you go back to the guy you benched? Now he knows you don't have confidence in him. Vegas was hungover when they made this line. "Fuck it, I don't caare"

Tampa Bay at DETROIT -10.5

Tampa is less than a two touchdown underdog against a playoff team? Bet against Tampa. Simple formula. Enjoy getting rich.

HOUSTON -6.5 at Jacksonville

Arian Foster fucking with the media and putting on a British accent is awesome. JJ Watt being the leagues poster boy is ridiculous because he is more roided up than Canseco, Bonds, and McGwire combined. Fact of the matter is, the fucking Jaguars are getting less than a touchdown from a team not named the Raiders.

BALTIMORE +3 at Miami

The Dolphins almost lost to the Jets last week. 

New York Jets at MINNESOTA -4

Almost bet the Jets. But you don't get rich betting on the Jets. Vikings stink, but they may have a decent enough defense to make this game ugly. Anybody who sits down and watches this game should be admitted to a hospital. I am actually gonna turn off my television if RedZone flashes to a single highlight. That is how much I hate that this game is taking place.

Carolina at NEW ORLEANS -8.5

I actually got this game at -10.5 when I bet it, but I still am confident as fuck. The Saints are still in the hunt for this shitty division and they still have Drew Brees. Carolina is not an actual football team.

NEW YORK GIANTS -2.5 at Tennessee 

. 

ST LOUIS -2.5 at Washington

The Rams are the best 5-7 team of all time. This was in the running for lock of the week. It is so fucking satisfying that the Redskins blow dicks. Couldn't hate RGIII more if I tried.

Kansas City at ARIZONA +2.5

/The Cards are falling apart at the worst time, but I believe in that defense against a team that lost to the Raiders, which wasn't supposed to happen this year. The Chiefs are decent at home but nothing much other than that.

Buffalo at DENVER -10

I am going to go on the record and say that I would be cool with the Packers trading Rodgers for Orton straight up. Love that guy. Still, Broncos roll over the Bills.

SAN FRANCISCO -8 at Oakland

Rich.

SEATTLE -2 at Philadelphia

The fucking Seahawks are gonna win the Super Bowl again. The greatest trick that Russell Wilson ever pulled was convincing the world he was a good quarterback. 

NEW ENGLAND -3.5 at San Diego

Phillip Rivers is no longer dead after that Baltimore comeback. However, betting against Bellichek and Brady after a loss is the dumbest thing that you can do. Don't be dumb, bet Pats.

Atlanta at GREEN BAY -13

Might be biased here, but Rodgers is unreal at home. It's his 100th career start and the dude has all the records. Most players will lie to you and say numbers don't matter, but it matters to Rodgers. By the way, he is cheating on Olivia Munn with Sloane from Entourage. For a gay guy, this dude pulls major tail.

Last Week- 5-8

Overall- 35-56

Lock of the Week- 2-5