Remember these kids? Remember this summer when they made people without children under the age of 14 give a shit about Little League again? Hell, remember when they made Chicago give a shit about baseball again? Well since a few asshole adults cared too much about boys playing a boys game they are now being nationally shamed and have had their championship stripped of them.
We all know that parents suck. The worst part about being a coach (as I would imagine I will find out soon enough) is dealing with the parents. There are the parents who bitch about their kid not getting enough playing time when all their son is good for is picking the dandelions out of right field. There are the parents who take the game way too seriously and end up having to watch from the parking lot because they called the ump an asshole. Then there are the parents who make the game about them and end up making their children despise the sports that are supposed to be fun because they have way too much pressure on them. When you think about it, that's what this whole story has been about.
Take the Jackie Robinson West Little League. Evidently they have been expanding their boundaries in order to make a super team that can qualify for the Great Lakes Region every year and make it to Williamsport. These parents are blatantly cheating the rules of a sport that gives out fucking treat tickets at the end of each game so the kids can go get a fucking air head or a slush puppy (gotta get suicide slush or else you're a nerd). This is suppose to be a game for kids. I have often talked with my Little League teammates about how good we could have been if we combined the 3 leagues in my city, and of course we would have been studs, but it didn't mean that much to us. It was fun to play and I made a lot of amazing memories but if our parents would have gotten together to cheat just so we can play a few games on TV? What kind of message is that sending to the kids?
Then you have a guy like Chris Janes, who is the whistle blower and league official of Evergreen Park Little League. JRW beat his team by a score of 43-2 on their way through the state tournament. It might take the White Sox 30 games to score 43 runs and these kids did it in 4 innings. Coach Chris apparently didn't take kindly to this ass whooping given to him by 12 and 13 year olds, so he made it his life's work to go on a full CSI investigation on JRW, looking at birth certificates, voting registrations, all this unbelievable shit about a fucking child's baseball game. GROW THE FUCK UP! Even if you take away the kid who had to drive just a little bit further to make it to his baseball game, your team still would have lost by 30. How does this guy find the time to go all Hardy Boys on a baseball team of boys who haven't reached high school yet? Does spending that much time on this classify him as a pedophile? It should. Also, at least he doesn't look like a bigot or anything.
Now the title goes to that asshole team in Las Vegas with all of their prick players who yell at the coaches. Fuck those parents, too, for raising shitty bitchy children. Nice championship kids, you really earned it.
By the way, when did we start giving championships that have been stripped to the second place teams? Does that mean the Illini are gonna get the 2005 championship that North Carolina had taken from them? Does Vince Young get Reggie Bush's Heisman Trophy? No, so fuck these kids.
In the end we know this doesn't really matter. The kids still got to have a parade, go to the White House, get honored all across the city and will always have the memories of who really won those games. It is just a shame that these little boys who just wanted to play a boys game have to go through all of this when the people who are really at fault are the asshole adults who put way too much pressure on their kids in the first place. Sports are supposed to be fun, and somewhere along the way we lose sight of that. At least my boy Trey Hondras has something else to talk to the ladies about now.
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