Couples Shots

You're at a party/pregame with your friends getting drunk for whatever reason it may be. It might be to increase your social confidence, celebrate something that no one cares about, or keep trying to convince the lame girl that never drinks it would be a lot cooler if she did.

A few shots/beers into the night some girl, and yes I say girl because there is no way a dude would ever say this evil phrase,"Couples Shots!"

Jesus..

The only positive that can come of this for us single guys is you can grab a girl who's single that wasn't invited to the exclusive couples shots ritual. Up until now she was having a great time, but incredibly, after those two words came out of that devil woman's mouth she is now hating life and vulnerable. May the odds be ever in your favor. Take a shot with her and mutually complain about why they stopped making the Wonder Ball. Although I'm pretty sure it was because of kids choking on the little candies. Either way, your chances have just increased dramatically.

This situation is the worst for guys that frequently hook up with the same girl but don't want to date her. He's happy where he is with this girl and it's clear to everyone in the room that she isn't. The next thing this poor guy hears are two words that makes everyone, especially him cringe. She drags him over to join the couples fun not knowing her friends are doing this to him on purpose. Meanwhile, all the single guys take a shot while holding each others dicks and start talking about all the chicks they have hooked up with to cope.

The best thing to observe from this hellish situation is both the guys and girls of this ritual. There is no way that the guys are enjoying what is currently going on, and if they are, they are no friends of mine. As the shots are being poured the guys awkwardly look at each other and acknowledge they have no say in anything. The girls saddle up on their high horse and use their devil mental telepathy to each other and send the message "we made it :)"

Just to be clear to the one, maybe two ladies that read this shitty blog. Number one, I am not ripping couples or relationships, I am ripping this ritual. It's pretty fucking lame for everyone involved. Number two, we still love you.