So I Ran into Clark the Cub This Week

Life is weird. I feel I am constantly reminded of that whether it is through internet stories or situations that I have encountered. Luckily I had one of those situations Wednesday.

When driving to work one afternoon, I stopped in to the local Jewel Osco to pick up a Lean Cuisine to make myself feel like I was eating healthy. Seeing as I was crunched for time, my mentality was to get in and out with a  Lean Cuisine Panini and a pack of starburst. I always get starburst, but that is a story for another day.

After grabbing my lunch, I was heading straight towards the self checkout lane. I looked over to my left and noticed plenty of Halloween candy in stock. Being the financial man I am, I considered buying starburst in bulk to maybe save some money. However, I realized how sad it would be buying a Halloween Size bag of starburst, which is equal to the size of a nine month baby, and knowing they weren’t going towards kids on halloween, but instead just me on a Wednesday afternoon.

Luckily I had this thought process while still in stride to the register. All I had to do was turn my head back around and get out of there. Nothing was in my way.

Correction, there was something in my way; A big fury animal, wearing a backwards baseball cap and no pants.

Yes I am talking about beloved Chicago Cubs’ mascot, Clark the Cub.

A little back story, I wasn’t  a fan of Clark the Cub the first time I heard of him. After I checked his twitter and incredible stats, though, I changed my mind. Plus, as someone who does not enjoy the restriction of pants I respected this Cub’s style.

Back to the Jewel. Clark the Cub, my main man, was coming at me, riding a scooter designated for people who have trouble walking/ are over-weight individuals. The only thing he had in his basket was a pile of Chicago Cubs bucket hats.

After “making eye contact,” I had to say something.

 “Hey!” That was literally my response. 

Clark, probably realizing he shouldn’t stop his scooter to speak to a lunatic, kept on rolling but did toss me a hat.

My reaction : laughing. I was laughing uncontrollably out of excitement. There was a woman following Clark and she seemed to be smiling at me. There is no doubt in my mind they thought there was something wrong with me. 

I tried to snap back into reality and walk towards the self check out aisle, but , wouldn’t you know it, I was in the one Jewel that didn’t have one. So, now I am walking back and forth between aisles, smiling and giggling, while holding a Lean Cuisine and a Cubs bucket hat.

I was star struck by a mascot of my favorite team. It made me realize I would have no idea how to handle myself in front of someone actually famous. Based of this experience, I would probably just start crying and curl up next to the person's feet. 

 To be fair, my reactions to everyday occurrences could be described as different. Whether it is whispering “shut the fuck up” when I saw a  bunch of dogs on the quad at Illinois my junior year or running away and gagging when I saw a larger spider two weeks ago, I can’t handle life.

After I checked out, I got out of that Jewel as quick as I could. To be honest, I didn’t know if any of what I described actually happened. Luckily I will always have a blue bucket hat with the “Wrigley Field 100^TH Anniversary” patch and a giant cubs logo on top to remind myself “life is fucking weird.”