WhatSupTho HateBlog- Marathon bragging

The Chicago Marathon took place this past weekend, and I want to start off by giving a sincere congratulations to all that participated. You worked your ass off, and you completed something incredibly difficult, and you deserve to be proud of yourselves! So take these next couple of days to make your Facebook posts, let your legs recover because I know they are hurting, ice up those nipples and then shut the fuck up about it. 

Please know that I am by no means trying to take away this amazing accomplishment from you. Having run a marathon myself, I know the type of work that goes in to it, the type of changes your body goes through, and how exhilarating it felt to cross that line after 26.2 miles. The mental toughness it takes is incredible. 

Likewise, knowing somebody who has run a marathon requires a shitload of mental toughness. If you have a friend who has run a marathon, chances are you have had to listen to them talk about it endlessly, every time you see them. Are you proud of your friend? Of course. Do you wish you had the motivation to do something like that? Sure. Do you give half as much of a shit as they seem to think about? Hell fucking no. 

Nobody likes the guy who comes over to say hi to you at a bar and starts blabbing about their workout for the day. Look man, I am sitting here getting drunk, after sitting around and watching 6 consecutive episodes of Sons of Anarchy today. The last thing I need is you telling me how skipping leg day is a sin, because I skip every body part day. Don't snap me pictures of weak people at the gym, because I haven't been to the gym in months and the fact that they are even there trying makes them better than me. The only thing you are doing is making me feel like a pile of shit, and making yourself look like a douchebag in the process. You're not making me feel like you are any cooler for lifting, you are just destroying my self esteem, and I don't need that.

Bragging about your marathon is no better than the dudes who are talking about how much their pre-workout helps them, people who post pictures of their healthy ass meals, or anyone who knows off hand what their max  on bench press is. 

So congratulations if you finished this past weekend. I do mean that. Take the week to talk to your friends and family about the experience, see how many likes you can rack up with your picture with your stupid medal, and then shut up and start working on getting fat again like I have. 

and for the love of god, please do not get one of those 26.2 bumper stickers to put on your car. Your friends barely give a shit, there's no way the dude you cut off in traffic is gonna give a shit. I love this bumper sticker I saw today from the guy who probably shares the same opinion as I do.

  PS-  I've ran a marathon once. It was hard, and I am better than you because of it.